Conflicts

You know, we all come across conflicts. People who think they are running away from conflicts usually are actually creating more conflicts with that sort of behavior.

I am a firm believer in dealing with conflicts right away, of course it raises your blood pressure levels to deal with it but that way you can unravel the situation before it becomes completely infected. It doesn't matter what sort of conflict it is, it doesn't matter what kind of social relationship it is, still the best solution is to actually solve it and go through it.

Still there are good ways to deal with the conflict. note!! I am not trying to portrait myself as an expert or claim that I KNOW how to deal with and I am not trying to say this is the only way to do it. These are just remarks based on my own experiences that might be helpful for some people, if it´s not helpful at least I wish it will cheer up your day reading through this blog post from a crazy Finnish chick :-D

ok so. First of all I´ve noticed that it´s better to say to that person you are having the conflict with that you want to discuss about it and not just attack them at some point when they are off guard as that will start a massive argument usually because they feel attacked if you don´t give them time to prepare for it in some way. When you tell them you want to talk about it, usually after a couple of hours or a day at the max. they are prepared and they have gone through it themselves in their own mind and they have created some sort of opinion and re-enforced their own opinion about the situation / matter at hand. After that you can sort out the conflict in most cases by discussing about it and that´s it, problem solved and some sort of mutual understanding has been achieved.

"attack is the best defense" doesn't apply to this, I've tried it when I was way younger and it always escalated a lot. so don´t attack, give your own opinion, be firm about it but also make yourself ready to listen and try to understand where the other person is coming from as all conflicts have 2 sides to it. You might not understand for example why someone got pissed off by something that seems really like a tiny thing for yourself, these people have their own view and every person get´s offended by different things, most conflicts arise from a situation where the other person has said something they think is not offensive in any way and the other person got really upset about that but didn´t say anything at the time, thus the situations escalates into a conflict and it´s not just a mere misunderstanding anymore, following me? hope you are :-D Usually the one that got upset has some correlation to a past event, remark that you don´t know about, they make the bridge from that to the current situation and they get upset, always ALWAYS think about how you would feel if someone else said the same thing to you.

You know social life is the biggest game ever, no matter how you want to look at it, it´s a game nevertheless. You have a choice to be a good winner, a bad winner, a good loser or a poor loser, every situation requires some sort of response nevertheless or otherwise it´s a lost game. People have a lot of understanding and you are liked if you end up being a good winner as well as a good loser.
Also you can always be firm and push things the way you want them to go but you know the hidden secret is in how making it happen, you have to firm yet you have to pull the strings, understand the motivation of other people and at the same time respect their goals and help them to reach it to get what you want, complicated? yes, that´s called life after all :-D