ok so to start out yet another "rant" on my blog (guess this is more like a habit by now :-D ) I would just like to say that this is my personal opinion and please feel free to comment your own, nothings better than a discussion built around a strange topic anyway :-D
So yeah, most people seem to send the odd "seasons" greetings any time there is a national / international holiday closing up, well the habit is odd to me anyways. I´ve never sent the cards because I simply do not understand the point behind the cards, the commotion behind it and the idea itself, I mean if you want to do it go ahead but I won´t, so don´t expect to get one from me :-D
Every Christmas, Easter and Valentines day I get cards from old friends, relatives I haven´t seen or even talked to in years, from people I barely know but have come across at some point of my life and they just happen to have my address for a reason that even I can´t remember. All fine but I will not save the cards from year on end, it doesn't matter if you send me a Christmas card, Easter card, valentines day card etc. I will not stock them up in some cupboard for 10 years. I know a lot of people who save all of the cards they have ever received and the pile is beginning to look like a house built inside a house, no seriously it does :-D some people get offended when you are not saving the cards they send you, well first of all I didn´t design a special cupboard for storing cards when I started the renovation of the house so I have no place to store the cards in, secondly you bought the card from a store, probably with a super deal marketed like this "get 30 cards for 2 euros" and you just had to use them all up and decided to send me one too because you couldn´t figure out anyone else to send it to. My third point is this, I don´t see any reason why a store bought card that has my name and address and your name on it in handwriting and a pre-printed "seasons greetings, Happy Valentines day or happy Easter" would mean the world to me.
Also one thing that always annoys me about the cards I get is that the person sending the card will be offended if they do not receive one back, I mean come on! I´ve watched my mom going over this special "list" when she is sending all of the "mandatory" cards and if you happen to forget your nieces, husbands ex-wife and didn´t send a card to them you just have to dwell in apathy for 2 weeks and go "ohh! im so embarrassed that I didn´t remember to send her a card, what will I do now, she is probably sending me one and I didn´t send her one" and god forbid, if you don´t receive a card from the nieces husbands ex-wife like you thought you would it´s even worse "oh! she didn´t send me a card, ok so that does it, she isn´t getting a card from me next year!'" even though you didn´t send her one.. hello!! you didn´t send one so isn´t that just a good thing that you didn´t get one. Now you´ll have one person less to send a card to .. yeah, I just don´t get it.
The second type of card that I receive yearly from multiple people are the "Holiday cards" (this is actually what got me to write about this topic this morning) Like, I don´t get the point from either perspective, not from the senders or the recipients perspective. If you are the sender, why do you drag a list with you when you travel and then panic and remind yourself daily during your vacation that you just have to write the vacation cards to colleagues at work, some relatives, some friends etc. and then when you finally buy the cards, write them and get the necessary stamps you´ll notice later on that you didn´t buy enough stamps per card because it never arrived to anyone anyways :-D and of course in this case as well it´s a disaster if you forgot to send someone a vacation card that you originally planned to send one to and you have to apologize. For me it´s simpler to just say "I don´t send any vacation cards, EVER" and that´s a valid explanation to all and everyone accepts that and you avoid a lot of work and chaos. It´s always funny to get a vacation card to me, it´s like "greetings from Greece, it´s been plus 30 every day, ps. it´s cheaper over here, with love xxxxx " it´s like you get that card and I always go like "well how nice for you, it´s been minus 30 over here so welcome back, duh! of course it´s cheaper over there, Finland is like one of the most expensive countries" and then I throw it to the trash :-D im sorry, I just don´t see the point in this either
Maybe im just nuts but I don´t see the point :-D
So yeah, don´t ever expect a card from me during any holiday seasons or vacation, you might get a text message if you are close enough to me or a common merry xxx or happy xxx on twitter :-D
Thursday, August 7, 2014
Thursday, June 19, 2014
Midsummer, Finnish traditions
So this time I will do this with a lighter subject :-D
so yeah, the famous nightless night -> midsummer :)
"Midsummer, also known as St John's Day,[1] is the period of time centered upon the summer solstice, and more specifically the Northern European celebrations that accompany the actual solstice or take place on a day between June 21 and June 25 and the preceding evening. The exact dates vary between different cultures"
In Finland it varies based on the calendar year, so usually we celebrate it 24th but this year around it´s the 20th of June, which is tomorrow YAY! It means we all have a day off :-D
Now here´s some facts about Midsummer in Finland:
Before 1316, the summer solstice was called Ukon juhla, ("Ukko's celebration") after the Finnish god Ukko. In Karelian tradition, many bonfires were burned side by side, the biggest of which was called Ukko-kokko (the "bonfire of Ukko"). After the celebrations were Christianized, the holiday became known as juhannus after John the Baptist (Finnish: Johannes Kastaja).
Since 1955, the holiday has always been on a Saturday (between June 20 and June 26). Earlier it was always on June 24. Many of the celebrations of midsummer take place on midsummer eve, when many workplaces are closed and shops must close their doors at noon.
In the Finnish midsummer celebration, bonfires (Finnish kokko) are very common and are burned at lakesides and by the sea Often branches from birch trees (koivu) are placed on both side of the front door to welcome visitors. Swedish-speaking Finns often celebrate by erecting a midsummer or maypole (Swedish midsommarstång, majstång).[15] Some Finland Swedes call the holiday Johannes after the Finnish term juhannus - or more accurately after the Biblical John the Baptist (="Johannes Döparen" in Swedish).
In folk magic, midsummer was a very potent night and the time for many small rituals, mostly for young maidens seeking suitors and fertility. Will-o'-the-wisps were believed to appear at midsummer night, particularly to finders of the mythical "fern in bloom" and possessors of the "fern seed", marking a treasure. In the old days, maidens would use special charms and bend over a well, naked, in order to see their future husband’s reflection. In another tradition that continues still today, an unmarried woman collects seven different flowers and places them under her pillow to dream of her future husband.
An important feature of the midsummer in Finland is the white night and the midnight sun. Because of Finland's location spanning around the Arctic Circle the nights near the midsummer day are short or non-existent. This gives a great contrast to the darkness of the winter time. The temperature can vary between 0 °C and +30 °C, with an average of about 20 °C in the South.
Many Finns leave the cities for Midsummer and spend time in the countryside. Nowadays many spend a few days there, and some Finns take their whole vacation in a cottage. Rituals include bonfires, cookouts, a sauna and spending time together. Heavy drinking is also associated with the Finnish midsummer.
Many music festivals of all sizes are organized on the Midsummer weekend. It is also common to start summer holidays on Midsummer day. For many families the Midsummer is the time when they move to the countryside to their summer cottage by the sea or lake. Midsummer is also a Finnish Flag Day where the flag is hoisted at 6 pm on Midsummer's Eve and flown all night till 9 pm the following evening.Finnish Canadians in the New Finland district, Saskatchewan, Canada celebrate Juhannus.
For me the day is all about relaxing in the Vaasa Archipelago, going to the sauna and for a swim in the sea as well as enjoying the period of most light in Vaasa :) The sun doesn't go down at all and for foreign people that usually creates some problems when they try to sleep here :)
so, anyways Hyvää Juhannusta kaikille!! :)
so yeah, the famous nightless night -> midsummer :)
"Midsummer, also known as St John's Day,[1] is the period of time centered upon the summer solstice, and more specifically the Northern European celebrations that accompany the actual solstice or take place on a day between June 21 and June 25 and the preceding evening. The exact dates vary between different cultures"
In Finland it varies based on the calendar year, so usually we celebrate it 24th but this year around it´s the 20th of June, which is tomorrow YAY! It means we all have a day off :-D
Now here´s some facts about Midsummer in Finland:
Before 1316, the summer solstice was called Ukon juhla, ("Ukko's celebration") after the Finnish god Ukko. In Karelian tradition, many bonfires were burned side by side, the biggest of which was called Ukko-kokko (the "bonfire of Ukko"). After the celebrations were Christianized, the holiday became known as juhannus after John the Baptist (Finnish: Johannes Kastaja).
Since 1955, the holiday has always been on a Saturday (between June 20 and June 26). Earlier it was always on June 24. Many of the celebrations of midsummer take place on midsummer eve, when many workplaces are closed and shops must close their doors at noon.
In the Finnish midsummer celebration, bonfires (Finnish kokko) are very common and are burned at lakesides and by the sea Often branches from birch trees (koivu) are placed on both side of the front door to welcome visitors. Swedish-speaking Finns often celebrate by erecting a midsummer or maypole (Swedish midsommarstång, majstång).[15] Some Finland Swedes call the holiday Johannes after the Finnish term juhannus - or more accurately after the Biblical John the Baptist (="Johannes Döparen" in Swedish).
In folk magic, midsummer was a very potent night and the time for many small rituals, mostly for young maidens seeking suitors and fertility. Will-o'-the-wisps were believed to appear at midsummer night, particularly to finders of the mythical "fern in bloom" and possessors of the "fern seed", marking a treasure. In the old days, maidens would use special charms and bend over a well, naked, in order to see their future husband’s reflection. In another tradition that continues still today, an unmarried woman collects seven different flowers and places them under her pillow to dream of her future husband.
An important feature of the midsummer in Finland is the white night and the midnight sun. Because of Finland's location spanning around the Arctic Circle the nights near the midsummer day are short or non-existent. This gives a great contrast to the darkness of the winter time. The temperature can vary between 0 °C and +30 °C, with an average of about 20 °C in the South.
Many Finns leave the cities for Midsummer and spend time in the countryside. Nowadays many spend a few days there, and some Finns take their whole vacation in a cottage. Rituals include bonfires, cookouts, a sauna and spending time together. Heavy drinking is also associated with the Finnish midsummer.
Many music festivals of all sizes are organized on the Midsummer weekend. It is also common to start summer holidays on Midsummer day. For many families the Midsummer is the time when they move to the countryside to their summer cottage by the sea or lake. Midsummer is also a Finnish Flag Day where the flag is hoisted at 6 pm on Midsummer's Eve and flown all night till 9 pm the following evening.Finnish Canadians in the New Finland district, Saskatchewan, Canada celebrate Juhannus.
For me the day is all about relaxing in the Vaasa Archipelago, going to the sauna and for a swim in the sea as well as enjoying the period of most light in Vaasa :) The sun doesn't go down at all and for foreign people that usually creates some problems when they try to sleep here :)
so, anyways Hyvää Juhannusta kaikille!! :)
Monday, May 5, 2014
Curling parenthood / helicopter parenthood
ok so this time around I will be giving my contribution to the world on being a parent and a phenomenon that I don´t quite understand and what in my opinion is a destructive way of bringing up a child ( I could come up with worse things as well .. )
ok so a curling parent is called that because they are like the sweepers in the Olympic game, sweeping all obstacles away from their child´s life making sure that there are none also the term "helicopter parent" comes from the fact that these type of parents are always hovering close by their children making sure that their life resembles a fairytale as much as possible.
Have these kind of parents placed the pendulum too far on the other side? Are they accommodating, modifying, smoothing and making nice to the child’s detriment?
In my personal opinion this kind of parenthood makes absolutely sure that the child has no means and no tools when they will face the first obstacle in their life. What if the parents die when the child is, let´s say a teenager, they have had no preparation in facing a difficult situation and facing the obstacles that the situation would surely bring to their life. I rather give room for my child to face difficult situations and I give him the support he needs to tackle the obstacles and overcome them ( considering his readiness and capabilities what comes to his age ). I think taking away that opportunity of learning what life might throw at them is doing them more harm than good. They should have challenges and they should face obstacles in a safe environment with the support and guidance from their parents to be able to face the world as the world will eventually throw a lot of crap at them and in my mind being a responsible parent also means that you should help your children to get ready for life and to get ready to face the real world.
Also I am a firm believer of giving your child limitations and acting as the last authority in their lives until they are ready to take the responsibility on their own. My child knows that I am the last authority and even though he can make small decisions regarding his life etc. mom has the last word and what mom says / decides in the end goes. That in my opinion gives a child the safety of growing and getting ready under the wing of a parent. I know a lot of people that let their kids decide about most things and according to my experience these kids do basically what they want all the time including talking in a nasty way to their parents.
I am not saying I am the perfect parent because I am not, all I am saying is that a parent-child relationship should really be that, the parent should carry the responsibility until the child is ready and give the child the tools to face the "big bad world" not the other way around. Kids aren´t given as a gift so that you have no responsibility whatsoever, I think having a child in your care is a huge honor and mother nature thinks you yourself are strong and wise enough to guide another human being into facing the world. all I ask is that all parents seriously consider their role and act accordingly.
ok so a curling parent is called that because they are like the sweepers in the Olympic game, sweeping all obstacles away from their child´s life making sure that there are none also the term "helicopter parent" comes from the fact that these type of parents are always hovering close by their children making sure that their life resembles a fairytale as much as possible.
Have these kind of parents placed the pendulum too far on the other side? Are they accommodating, modifying, smoothing and making nice to the child’s detriment?
In my personal opinion this kind of parenthood makes absolutely sure that the child has no means and no tools when they will face the first obstacle in their life. What if the parents die when the child is, let´s say a teenager, they have had no preparation in facing a difficult situation and facing the obstacles that the situation would surely bring to their life. I rather give room for my child to face difficult situations and I give him the support he needs to tackle the obstacles and overcome them ( considering his readiness and capabilities what comes to his age ). I think taking away that opportunity of learning what life might throw at them is doing them more harm than good. They should have challenges and they should face obstacles in a safe environment with the support and guidance from their parents to be able to face the world as the world will eventually throw a lot of crap at them and in my mind being a responsible parent also means that you should help your children to get ready for life and to get ready to face the real world.
Also I am a firm believer of giving your child limitations and acting as the last authority in their lives until they are ready to take the responsibility on their own. My child knows that I am the last authority and even though he can make small decisions regarding his life etc. mom has the last word and what mom says / decides in the end goes. That in my opinion gives a child the safety of growing and getting ready under the wing of a parent. I know a lot of people that let their kids decide about most things and according to my experience these kids do basically what they want all the time including talking in a nasty way to their parents.
I am not saying I am the perfect parent because I am not, all I am saying is that a parent-child relationship should really be that, the parent should carry the responsibility until the child is ready and give the child the tools to face the "big bad world" not the other way around. Kids aren´t given as a gift so that you have no responsibility whatsoever, I think having a child in your care is a huge honor and mother nature thinks you yourself are strong and wise enough to guide another human being into facing the world. all I ask is that all parents seriously consider their role and act accordingly.
Friday, April 4, 2014
The most stupid law proposal ever done in Finland
Oh this one annoyed me so much when I read it.
So the Finnish sitting government has a party in the opposition called Basic Finn´s (perussuomalaiset) or asses like we like to call them because perus ( basic ) is almost like ass in Finnish ( ass = perse ) and now they have really proven that they have earned the nickname. I read the news on Wednesday when waking up about the law proposition they have passed to the Finnish government to consider.
The law would reduce women´s retirement age in Finland, ok fair enough but there were these regulations which would be applied and the lower retirement age would not of course be available to all women, you would have to fill certain "criterias" to get the benefit.
1. You would have to be married
2. You would have to have at least one kid (one kid reduces the limit by 3 years, kids you get after that would reduce it with 2 years each, so if you have 3 kids you could get retired 7 years earlier than what the average limit is )
3. You would have had to given birth while married
So if you would give birth and get married afterwards you wouldn´t get the benefit.
Now here is why it annoys me so much and made me honestly angry when I read it.
1. The man in the marriage is not allowed to get the same benefit and it the modern day the man takes care of the kids and takes care of the marriage too just like the woman does.
2. Single parents cannot get the benefit... ok last time I checked being a single parent is 50 times harder on you than having that other adult in the family to level out the "workload" also if the man would be a single parent the benefit wouldn´t be considered under any circumstances even if your wife would have died when giving birth and the man would be a widow.
3. The benefit doesn't consider kids that you adopt, even though they are your legal kids you would get the benefit only for the biological kids.. hmm so raising the kid isn´t actually considered the basis for getting the benefit? only giving birth is a basis? what the.... god damn!!
Ok there´s only three points now listed out but those were my initial reactions to this stupid law proposal. Finland has come such a long way from the days when women weren´t allowed to vote, have a career or even get educated. The current Finnish society has been built in a way that the woman has similar right's than the man does and even benefits from your maternity leave can go higher if the man decides to stay at home during it instead of the women which works really well for families where the woman brings in more cash than the man does so it doesn't impact the finance side that much. Ok the only thing that could be improved nowadays is basically the fact that if you compare the wages between sexes for the same job, women get paid less in for example manager positions, our euro is 70 cents compared to the Finnish man.
This law proposal basically gives the message out from the PS party that you have to be a housewife, get married and get kids to get better options, now how the hell does that improve the status of women in Finland like they told when they made the proposal public!!?? what about women that cannot conceive kids and adopt? this would totally exclude them from the society in a way that they would be automatically categorized.
Also I know there are charity cases out there that do not feel like working and rather cash in the benefit checks paid with the tax money collected from the people who actually try to improve the income and performance of the Finnish society and government by working. Now they get a couple of kids, collect the benefits and "retire" early to get even higher benefits, well screw you! im not falling for this one
Our ancestors worked very hard to improve the status of the women of this country and this would be like throwing it all back at their faces "thanks but no thanks". The current time makes it possible for the woman to be the provider and the man being a househusband instead. it makes it possible for us to have a career too, we have had a female president ( who did an awesome job I might add, that´s why she went through two full presidential cycles which is the max for FI) that´s why we have highly educated women on high positions. oh and btw, guess what most of the people that signed under the proposal are old ggeezers that dfo not have kids and aren´t married, hmm wonder why?
The saddest thing is that when this was made public and the outcry of Finnish women and MAN started to pour out 6 people took back their approval of the law proposal. hm so much for standing behind your words !
So the Finnish sitting government has a party in the opposition called Basic Finn´s (perussuomalaiset) or asses like we like to call them because perus ( basic ) is almost like ass in Finnish ( ass = perse ) and now they have really proven that they have earned the nickname. I read the news on Wednesday when waking up about the law proposition they have passed to the Finnish government to consider.
The law would reduce women´s retirement age in Finland, ok fair enough but there were these regulations which would be applied and the lower retirement age would not of course be available to all women, you would have to fill certain "criterias" to get the benefit.
1. You would have to be married
2. You would have to have at least one kid (one kid reduces the limit by 3 years, kids you get after that would reduce it with 2 years each, so if you have 3 kids you could get retired 7 years earlier than what the average limit is )
3. You would have had to given birth while married
So if you would give birth and get married afterwards you wouldn´t get the benefit.
Now here is why it annoys me so much and made me honestly angry when I read it.
1. The man in the marriage is not allowed to get the same benefit and it the modern day the man takes care of the kids and takes care of the marriage too just like the woman does.
2. Single parents cannot get the benefit... ok last time I checked being a single parent is 50 times harder on you than having that other adult in the family to level out the "workload" also if the man would be a single parent the benefit wouldn´t be considered under any circumstances even if your wife would have died when giving birth and the man would be a widow.
3. The benefit doesn't consider kids that you adopt, even though they are your legal kids you would get the benefit only for the biological kids.. hmm so raising the kid isn´t actually considered the basis for getting the benefit? only giving birth is a basis? what the.... god damn!!
Ok there´s only three points now listed out but those were my initial reactions to this stupid law proposal. Finland has come such a long way from the days when women weren´t allowed to vote, have a career or even get educated. The current Finnish society has been built in a way that the woman has similar right's than the man does and even benefits from your maternity leave can go higher if the man decides to stay at home during it instead of the women which works really well for families where the woman brings in more cash than the man does so it doesn't impact the finance side that much. Ok the only thing that could be improved nowadays is basically the fact that if you compare the wages between sexes for the same job, women get paid less in for example manager positions, our euro is 70 cents compared to the Finnish man.
This law proposal basically gives the message out from the PS party that you have to be a housewife, get married and get kids to get better options, now how the hell does that improve the status of women in Finland like they told when they made the proposal public!!?? what about women that cannot conceive kids and adopt? this would totally exclude them from the society in a way that they would be automatically categorized.
Also I know there are charity cases out there that do not feel like working and rather cash in the benefit checks paid with the tax money collected from the people who actually try to improve the income and performance of the Finnish society and government by working. Now they get a couple of kids, collect the benefits and "retire" early to get even higher benefits, well screw you! im not falling for this one
Our ancestors worked very hard to improve the status of the women of this country and this would be like throwing it all back at their faces "thanks but no thanks". The current time makes it possible for the woman to be the provider and the man being a househusband instead. it makes it possible for us to have a career too, we have had a female president ( who did an awesome job I might add, that´s why she went through two full presidential cycles which is the max for FI) that´s why we have highly educated women on high positions. oh and btw, guess what most of the people that signed under the proposal are old ggeezers that dfo not have kids and aren´t married, hmm wonder why?
The saddest thing is that when this was made public and the outcry of Finnish women and MAN started to pour out 6 people took back their approval of the law proposal. hm so much for standing behind your words !
Tuesday, March 4, 2014
making friends and enemies
ok so let´s start this out with some excerpts of lyrics that will give you the perfect idea of what I am about to write about
Foo Fighters - The Pretender
Keep you in the dark
You know they all pretend
Keep you in the dark
And so it all began
You know they all pretend
Keep you in the dark
And so it all began
Send in your skeletons
Sing as their bones go marching in again
They need you buried deep
The secrets that you keep are ever ready
Are you ready?
Sing as their bones go marching in again
They need you buried deep
The secrets that you keep are ever ready
Are you ready?
I'm finished making sense
Done pleading ignorance
That whole defense
Done pleading ignorance
That whole defense
Spinning infinity
Boy, the wheel is spinning me
It's never ending, never ending
Same old story
Boy, the wheel is spinning me
It's never ending, never ending
Same old story
What if I say I'm not like the others?
What if I say I'm not just another one of your plays?
You're the pretender
What if I say that I will never surrender?
What if I say I'm not just another one of your plays?
You're the pretender
What if I say that I will never surrender?
In time or so I'm told
I'm just another soul for sale, oh well
The page is out of print, we are not permanent
We're temporary, temporary
Same old story
I'm just another soul for sale, oh well
The page is out of print, we are not permanent
We're temporary, temporary
Same old story
What if I say I'm not like the others?
What if I say I'm not just another one of your plays?
You're the pretender
What if I say that I'll never surrender?
What if I say I'm not just another one of your plays?
You're the pretender
What if I say that I'll never surrender?
What if I say I'm not like the others?
What if I say I'm not just another one of your plays?
You're the pretender
What if I say I will never surrender?
What if I say I'm not just another one of your plays?
You're the pretender
What if I say I will never surrender?
I'm the voice inside your head you refuse to hear
I'm the face that you have to face, mirrorin' your stare
I'm what's left, I'm what's right, I'm the enemy
I'm the hand that'll take you down, bring you to your knees
So who are you? Yeah, who are you?
Yeah, who are you? Yeah, who are you?
I'm the face that you have to face, mirrorin' your stare
I'm what's left, I'm what's right, I'm the enemy
I'm the hand that'll take you down, bring you to your knees
So who are you? Yeah, who are you?
Yeah, who are you? Yeah, who are you?
Keep you in the dark, you know they all pretend
Ok so, yes I always try to be nice to people and act respectful and usually I make friends BUT there is that other side of me who does not like the fact that some people try to take advantage of the kind side and try to attack, the good part though is that many people do not acknowledge the fact that under that a bit goofy, funny and innocent seeming exterior there usually is massive strength and these people are almost like two-faces since they cans witch to that intelligent defensive side in a heartbeat when you try to attack them.
I am like that, I admit that gladly, I will be a very kind person but if you try to walk over me the realization of you picking the wrong target will come pretty soon afterwards.
Also I think that in many cases people do not like to hear the truth, it might be about themselves, about a situation surrounding them and they choose to be oblivious to the things around them by choice and if you point out the facts they attack and try to bring you down. It´s unfortunate that people have to have a good eye to situations where they have to defend themselves but this is the way that the world works. I love the Foo Fighters lyrics above cause that in my mind is a perfect description of the moment when you switch from nice to an alternative state when you see the attack on you will happen.. one of the facts about the world-- people will always try to take a stab at you, but there is no point in turning yourself into a negative being when you have a choice
hope I made sense :-D
Thursday, February 27, 2014
Careers and about having one
"You are the only one who can affect what you will be and how you develop yourself" Welcome to my world :-D
ok so this one started out from a convo I had with a classmate yesterday about organizing your life. Let´s start with saying that the dude I had the convo with is a conservative "old-fashioned" guy.
Ok so I've went through my point on smooching on someone else in the anti-feminist youtube thingie post and im standing by everything I said in that one. so let´s go on to having a career, basically this can be seen as a part 2 to the older post.
I have a career which I am very proud of and I will develop myself to get further. Some people have the very out dated view on a woman having a career and a child. For me it´s easy to balance between the two rules because even though I am a mother I don´t want to forget myself completely. I have and I will push my own goals further to be a good mother and a good support for my boy until he is old enough to start pursuing his own goals and even then I won´t fade away, I will be his pillar when he needs me. See I don´t see having a career as something that is hindering me to be a good mother, I see it as a source of a good income to be able to build a solid financial ground for me and my boy.
Secondly, I am someone who thrives to go further in life. It could be something that stems from the fact that when I was growing up I was told that I am not able to be anything because of my background and I wanted to prove them that an apple can actually fall damn far from the tree :-D This one did :-D anyways the more important reason for me to build a career is the fact that in Finnish society we are having a trend of the government raising the retirement age and if it continues to be raised in the same speed, my generation will fall on the battleground with their boots on, meaning that we will not see one day of retirement UNLESS you can build a solid ground for income, save up and retire earlier on. That is one major reason for me.
Also I have a firm pride in my professional capabilities and I take pride in the way I have built my career. Money is unfortunately something you need to have in order to pay for your bills etc. I am not saying I will be a millionaire one day ( well who knows :-D maybe I will ) my only target is a get a financial solid ground and build a foundation that can help me and my son forward in this life and secure a good future.
Ok so now we get to the actual point where this subject started from. It just doesn't fit into my head that some people still in this day and age think that a woman should be a stay at home mom and basically stay at home taking care of the kids and keeping the house clean and making herself pretty and cook.. hmm guess what? even though I am a self proclaimed career mom I take care of my son, cook, clean and take care of myself. I just made a choice myself not to be a stay at home mom, instead I am building a career as well. Me, personally I don´t see pa problem in it. Also don´t get this the wrong way like I would judge someone who wants to be a stay at home mom because I am not, it´s totally up to every woman to decide that and think about what works the best for them, the things I dislike is that people judge me for my choice because I am stepping out of the traditional mold of a woman with a kid. People take as their goal to judge my decision without knowing the backgrounds and without even knowing what my son actually thinks about all of this, the people that are the most eager to judge do not even know me up close and personal. now again, "round and round we go" -> why judge when you even haven´t checked in the mirror?
ok so this one started out from a convo I had with a classmate yesterday about organizing your life. Let´s start with saying that the dude I had the convo with is a conservative "old-fashioned" guy.
Ok so I've went through my point on smooching on someone else in the anti-feminist youtube thingie post and im standing by everything I said in that one. so let´s go on to having a career, basically this can be seen as a part 2 to the older post.
I have a career which I am very proud of and I will develop myself to get further. Some people have the very out dated view on a woman having a career and a child. For me it´s easy to balance between the two rules because even though I am a mother I don´t want to forget myself completely. I have and I will push my own goals further to be a good mother and a good support for my boy until he is old enough to start pursuing his own goals and even then I won´t fade away, I will be his pillar when he needs me. See I don´t see having a career as something that is hindering me to be a good mother, I see it as a source of a good income to be able to build a solid financial ground for me and my boy.
Secondly, I am someone who thrives to go further in life. It could be something that stems from the fact that when I was growing up I was told that I am not able to be anything because of my background and I wanted to prove them that an apple can actually fall damn far from the tree :-D This one did :-D anyways the more important reason for me to build a career is the fact that in Finnish society we are having a trend of the government raising the retirement age and if it continues to be raised in the same speed, my generation will fall on the battleground with their boots on, meaning that we will not see one day of retirement UNLESS you can build a solid ground for income, save up and retire earlier on. That is one major reason for me.
Also I have a firm pride in my professional capabilities and I take pride in the way I have built my career. Money is unfortunately something you need to have in order to pay for your bills etc. I am not saying I will be a millionaire one day ( well who knows :-D maybe I will ) my only target is a get a financial solid ground and build a foundation that can help me and my son forward in this life and secure a good future.
Ok so now we get to the actual point where this subject started from. It just doesn't fit into my head that some people still in this day and age think that a woman should be a stay at home mom and basically stay at home taking care of the kids and keeping the house clean and making herself pretty and cook.. hmm guess what? even though I am a self proclaimed career mom I take care of my son, cook, clean and take care of myself. I just made a choice myself not to be a stay at home mom, instead I am building a career as well. Me, personally I don´t see pa problem in it. Also don´t get this the wrong way like I would judge someone who wants to be a stay at home mom because I am not, it´s totally up to every woman to decide that and think about what works the best for them, the things I dislike is that people judge me for my choice because I am stepping out of the traditional mold of a woman with a kid. People take as their goal to judge my decision without knowing the backgrounds and without even knowing what my son actually thinks about all of this, the people that are the most eager to judge do not even know me up close and personal. now again, "round and round we go" -> why judge when you even haven´t checked in the mirror?
Friday, February 14, 2014
Valentines Day
Ok well let´s start by wishing all of my readers a wonderful Valentines Day.
I´ve never really celebrated Valentines day because in my world every day should be Valentines day, you should show appreciation and love to your closest people anyways. In Finland it has been mostly celebrated in a friendship day form and just in the few last years it´s been turning to be Valentines day in the same meaning as it is everywhere else.
ok so about the not-celebrating thing. I see Valentines day mostly as a commercial holiday nowadays, there´s all sorts of crap being sold in a heart shaped format everywhere, flower sales skyrocket etc. so I don´t see any point in buying my friends something they don´t need anyway, I would rather get them something that they really need or want on another day than Feb 14th .
Secondly I don´t understand the massive pressure couples are putting on each other, some women expect to get a fancy dinner, roses, jewelry and what not just because it´s Valentines Day, I mean in my opinion it´s more special when it comes without you having to wait for it and assume you are getting it on a specific way, maybe that´s just me because I love suprises. Also I've never been into the roses thing, I appreciate "innovative" thinking like I would rather get a weird plant, like a bamboo in a pot or a cactus :-D Yeah I know im very weird, but I mean if the guy would have to be creative when getting me something as a surprise I think he´s put more thought into it than just going out and automatically buying a dozen of deep red roses.. *sigh* boring.. :-D same goes to gifts in general. I just don´t get it, why to make a massive deal out of Valentines? we used to have a "hug everybody" day at school because nobody at the time really didn´t understand why you should buy something to show your appreciation to someone you care about.
I personally rather get a hug and a smile, that´s good enough and I would prefer to get that everyday instead of getting a hug and a smile once a year. so yeah, this was my rant for Valentines :-D
PS. if you are one of those who celebrate, enjoy your day anyways !! :-D
I´ve never really celebrated Valentines day because in my world every day should be Valentines day, you should show appreciation and love to your closest people anyways. In Finland it has been mostly celebrated in a friendship day form and just in the few last years it´s been turning to be Valentines day in the same meaning as it is everywhere else.
ok so about the not-celebrating thing. I see Valentines day mostly as a commercial holiday nowadays, there´s all sorts of crap being sold in a heart shaped format everywhere, flower sales skyrocket etc. so I don´t see any point in buying my friends something they don´t need anyway, I would rather get them something that they really need or want on another day than Feb 14th .
Secondly I don´t understand the massive pressure couples are putting on each other, some women expect to get a fancy dinner, roses, jewelry and what not just because it´s Valentines Day, I mean in my opinion it´s more special when it comes without you having to wait for it and assume you are getting it on a specific way, maybe that´s just me because I love suprises. Also I've never been into the roses thing, I appreciate "innovative" thinking like I would rather get a weird plant, like a bamboo in a pot or a cactus :-D Yeah I know im very weird, but I mean if the guy would have to be creative when getting me something as a surprise I think he´s put more thought into it than just going out and automatically buying a dozen of deep red roses.. *sigh* boring.. :-D same goes to gifts in general. I just don´t get it, why to make a massive deal out of Valentines? we used to have a "hug everybody" day at school because nobody at the time really didn´t understand why you should buy something to show your appreciation to someone you care about.
I personally rather get a hug and a smile, that´s good enough and I would prefer to get that everyday instead of getting a hug and a smile once a year. so yeah, this was my rant for Valentines :-D
PS. if you are one of those who celebrate, enjoy your day anyways !! :-D
Thursday, January 2, 2014
Conflicts
You know, we all come across conflicts. People who think they are running away from conflicts usually are actually creating more conflicts with that sort of behavior.
I am a firm believer in dealing with conflicts right away, of course it raises your blood pressure levels to deal with it but that way you can unravel the situation before it becomes completely infected. It doesn't matter what sort of conflict it is, it doesn't matter what kind of social relationship it is, still the best solution is to actually solve it and go through it.
Still there are good ways to deal with the conflict. note!! I am not trying to portrait myself as an expert or claim that I KNOW how to deal with and I am not trying to say this is the only way to do it. These are just remarks based on my own experiences that might be helpful for some people, if it´s not helpful at least I wish it will cheer up your day reading through this blog post from a crazy Finnish chick :-D
ok so. First of all I´ve noticed that it´s better to say to that person you are having the conflict with that you want to discuss about it and not just attack them at some point when they are off guard as that will start a massive argument usually because they feel attacked if you don´t give them time to prepare for it in some way. When you tell them you want to talk about it, usually after a couple of hours or a day at the max. they are prepared and they have gone through it themselves in their own mind and they have created some sort of opinion and re-enforced their own opinion about the situation / matter at hand. After that you can sort out the conflict in most cases by discussing about it and that´s it, problem solved and some sort of mutual understanding has been achieved.
"attack is the best defense" doesn't apply to this, I've tried it when I was way younger and it always escalated a lot. so don´t attack, give your own opinion, be firm about it but also make yourself ready to listen and try to understand where the other person is coming from as all conflicts have 2 sides to it. You might not understand for example why someone got pissed off by something that seems really like a tiny thing for yourself, these people have their own view and every person get´s offended by different things, most conflicts arise from a situation where the other person has said something they think is not offensive in any way and the other person got really upset about that but didn´t say anything at the time, thus the situations escalates into a conflict and it´s not just a mere misunderstanding anymore, following me? hope you are :-D Usually the one that got upset has some correlation to a past event, remark that you don´t know about, they make the bridge from that to the current situation and they get upset, always ALWAYS think about how you would feel if someone else said the same thing to you.
You know social life is the biggest game ever, no matter how you want to look at it, it´s a game nevertheless. You have a choice to be a good winner, a bad winner, a good loser or a poor loser, every situation requires some sort of response nevertheless or otherwise it´s a lost game. People have a lot of understanding and you are liked if you end up being a good winner as well as a good loser.
Also you can always be firm and push things the way you want them to go but you know the hidden secret is in how making it happen, you have to firm yet you have to pull the strings, understand the motivation of other people and at the same time respect their goals and help them to reach it to get what you want, complicated? yes, that´s called life after all :-D
I am a firm believer in dealing with conflicts right away, of course it raises your blood pressure levels to deal with it but that way you can unravel the situation before it becomes completely infected. It doesn't matter what sort of conflict it is, it doesn't matter what kind of social relationship it is, still the best solution is to actually solve it and go through it.
Still there are good ways to deal with the conflict. note!! I am not trying to portrait myself as an expert or claim that I KNOW how to deal with and I am not trying to say this is the only way to do it. These are just remarks based on my own experiences that might be helpful for some people, if it´s not helpful at least I wish it will cheer up your day reading through this blog post from a crazy Finnish chick :-D
ok so. First of all I´ve noticed that it´s better to say to that person you are having the conflict with that you want to discuss about it and not just attack them at some point when they are off guard as that will start a massive argument usually because they feel attacked if you don´t give them time to prepare for it in some way. When you tell them you want to talk about it, usually after a couple of hours or a day at the max. they are prepared and they have gone through it themselves in their own mind and they have created some sort of opinion and re-enforced their own opinion about the situation / matter at hand. After that you can sort out the conflict in most cases by discussing about it and that´s it, problem solved and some sort of mutual understanding has been achieved.
"attack is the best defense" doesn't apply to this, I've tried it when I was way younger and it always escalated a lot. so don´t attack, give your own opinion, be firm about it but also make yourself ready to listen and try to understand where the other person is coming from as all conflicts have 2 sides to it. You might not understand for example why someone got pissed off by something that seems really like a tiny thing for yourself, these people have their own view and every person get´s offended by different things, most conflicts arise from a situation where the other person has said something they think is not offensive in any way and the other person got really upset about that but didn´t say anything at the time, thus the situations escalates into a conflict and it´s not just a mere misunderstanding anymore, following me? hope you are :-D Usually the one that got upset has some correlation to a past event, remark that you don´t know about, they make the bridge from that to the current situation and they get upset, always ALWAYS think about how you would feel if someone else said the same thing to you.
You know social life is the biggest game ever, no matter how you want to look at it, it´s a game nevertheless. You have a choice to be a good winner, a bad winner, a good loser or a poor loser, every situation requires some sort of response nevertheless or otherwise it´s a lost game. People have a lot of understanding and you are liked if you end up being a good winner as well as a good loser.
Also you can always be firm and push things the way you want them to go but you know the hidden secret is in how making it happen, you have to firm yet you have to pull the strings, understand the motivation of other people and at the same time respect their goals and help them to reach it to get what you want, complicated? yes, that´s called life after all :-D
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)